Stay classy, Paramus

Police in Paramus, New Jersey were called to a doctor’s office last Friday when a man began exposing himself to female patients and staff. Officers arrived to find the man in the bathroom with the door open while pleasuring himself and attempting to penetrate a certain lower orifice with the handle of a toilet brush. Police say they man has a history of similar arrests and identified the suspect as Brian Bates, who in his younger days would be known as Master…well, you know.