More Dumbasses!

There’s good news for burglars in Manchester, England, as police there say that due to government budget cuts, they no longer respond to burglaries. The revelation came after local businesswoman Caithy Walker’s offices were broken into twice in just five weeks. After having nearly $30,000 worth of goods stolen, police told Walker she’d be better off going on eBay herself to see if burglars were selling the stuff online.


Matthew Moriarty had worked for the police department in Daytona Beach Shores, Florida, for over two years. However, Moriarty is now seeking a new line of work after he took a selfie and drew black hair and a beard on it, then added a syringe with blood droppings, police car, and toy gun emojis to it with the caption: “this is how I celebrate Black History Month.” In addition to being fired, authorities are now looking into whether Moriarty arrested people unfairly due to their ethnic background


In Miramar Beach, Florida, a deputy observed a large gathering on the beach in front of a condominium. Upon seeing the officer, the crowd of teenagers began to disperse, except for one 19-year-old man. When he finally noticed the officer, he turned to the left to try and hide the beer he was holding. However, that move failed and when the deputy asked how old he was, the man said, “(expletive) 12.” He repeated the phrase as he was being escorted off the beach, saying he has “freedom of speech and can say whatever he wishes.” While that may be true, he didn’t have the freedom to be drinking alcohol at the age of 19 and he was arrested.


If you were looking for that perfect, hip piece of clothing for your happening toddler, you just missed out. Amazon was selling a line of children’s clothing emblazoned with what appeared to be the Coca-Cola logo. However, the logo was replaced with the words ‘enjoy cocaine.’ Yes, some people had a problem with that and Amazon pulled the clothing from their website. They say the line of bibs, t-shirts and onesies was being sold by an independent seller from Estonia.


Christopher Maxwell went into a Sebastian, Florida, convenience store to buy beer. Unfortunately for Maxwell, he showed up at 2:30 Friday morning, which was too late for beer sales. After the clerk denied Maxwell’s request to purchase the brew, he asked her what would happen if he stole some beer instead. While most people already know the answer, Maxwell decided to find out for himself by helping himself to two 18-packs of Bud Light and leaving. Maxwell found the answer to his question as he was arrested a short time later.