More Dumbasses!

The wall came tumbling down on Thursday night. During a boxing match, American fighter Rod Salka wore shorts emblazoned with the words “America 1st” and a brick wall pattern. Salka lost the fight on a TKO after he failed to answer the bell for the 7th round and suffered further humiliation on Twitter afterwards when he was zinged for ironically losing to Mexican boxer Francisco Vargas. After the fight, Vargas said he took Salka’s shorts as extra motivation.


An unnamed motorcyclist injured his hip when he crashed his bike in Brevard County, Florida, last Thursday. The biker might’ve avoided injury had the gun he’d been carrying not discharged during the crash. The biker and his passenger were hospitalized with nonlife-threatening injuries.


Autumn Sienna Heinz had been a full-time employee at Missoula, Montana’s YMCA Learning Day Care Center for three years. However, Autumn won’t see her fourth anniversary on the job. Autumn was arrested and fired after she allegedly built a “drug den” below a cabinet, which she used for smoking meth on the job. Police say meth fumes permeated the entire building and every room tested positive for meth, including the infant room.


When doing any job it’s important to have the proper tools. For example, when committing a robbery, one vital tool to have would be something to carry stolen cash in, such as a bag. This would’ve been a valuable pro tip for a couple of klutzes that recently robbed a Manchester, England, travel agency. Surveillance video shows cash flying from the men’s pockets as they run down the street while desperately trying to chase the flying loot, before giving up and driving away. (See here)


Brennan Walker woke up late last Thursday and missed his bus to Michigan’s Rochester High School. His mom had taken his phone away, so Walker knocked on a stranger’s door to ask for directions. The lady of the house began yelling at Walker, asking why he was trying to break in. As Walker tried to explain that he just wanted directions, the woman’s husband emerged with a shotgun. Walker ran away as the man shot and, luckily, missed. After viewing the home’s doorbell camera surveillance video, they placed the shooter under arrest and Walker’s mother lamented the fact that her son nearly became a hashtag statistic.


Eliminated from this year’s Mother of the Year consideration is Florida’s 20-year-old Kaitlyn Ecker. Kaitlyn apparently told a friend that her 2-year-old child did drugs with her and joked that the toddler knew how to roll joints. That friend didn’t think the joke was so funny and went to police. Investigators searched Kaitlyn’s home and found drug paraphernalia and blood and hair samples from both her and her child tested positive for chronic use of both methamphetamine and amphetamine and Kaitlyn was arrested on numerous charges.


An unnamed Vancouver Island couple was outraged when a 28-year-old family friend sent explicit messages to their daughter’s Instagram account. The couple notified police, who simply suggested they block the friend and forget it. Unsatisfied by the response, mom posed as her daughter and set up a meeting with the creep and asked police to be present during the ambush, but said they declined to take part. When the scuzzbag arrived, mom and dad ambushed him, zip-tied his hands behind his back and called police. Officers arrived and took the man to the hospital, although he hasn’t been charged. However, police say the parents may now be charged with assault causing bodily harm and forcible confinement.


Denmark’s 18-year-old Jannich Andersen went to New York on vacation last week and was promptly robbed of his hat at knifepoint. Andersen said he was approached by two men who were offended by the hat and swiped it before running away. If you’re wondering what sort of headgear would cause someone to be offended, it was a red ‘Make America Great Again’ cap.


I’ll see your ‘kneeling for the national anthem’ and raise you ‘refusing to sing The Star Spangled Banner.’ Nevada’s Alishia Wolcott said she was very happy when she was chosen to sing the national anthem at a Reno Aces minor league baseball game. However, Alishia later declined the invite because firearms aren’t allowed in the stadium and she and her husband were told that they couldn’t bring their guns to the game.


Leavenworth, Tennessee’s Donisha Franklin couldn’t believe it when her daughter, Heaven, came home from daycare with three missing teeth. Donisha says Heaven’s teeth were knocked out in a fight with a 4-year-old boy. The incident happened at the Kingdom Christian Academy Daycare, where Donisha says they apologized and said that young kids sometimes fight with one another. However, Pastor David Walker said there was no fight and that Heaven fell and broke her teeth.