More Dumbasses!

An unnamed 35-year-old woman was attending a soiree at the Memphis home of Michael Weston and Yolanda Tucker when the women got into an argument. As the argument escalated, Michael gave Yolanda a knife and she stabbed their guest. The woman crashed while attempting to drive herself to the hospital, but was able to tell responding officers that the stabbing occurred after she accidentally spilled some Rotel queso cheese dip and her hosts accused her of wasting it. The woman was hospitalized while Michael and Yolanda were arrested.


Damon Holloway went into the Olympia Candy Kitchen in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, walked up to the counter, and exposed himself to the female employee. Holloway was arrested on charges of indecent exposure and disorderly conduct, despite telling officers he felt the need “to get his genitals out in the air.”


Tampa police have arrested Teddy Baltimore Smith Jr. on charges of second-degree murder. This comes after Smith was allegedly involved in a road rage incident in which a man was stabbed. Police say Smith was sent into a case of road rage when Gilbert Serna spit out the window of the truck he was riding in and it accidentally contact with him and/or his BMW.


Today’s story that’ll make you go ‘ouch’ comes from China where doctors have successfully removed a three-foot-long phone cable from a retiree. The part of the retiree the cable was pulled from was just below the waistline, where the man had inserted it in an effort to stop itchiness in his urethra. Unfortunately, the cable got tangled in the bladder and the old man couldn’t take it out on his own, forcing doctors to pull the cable out of the man’s body.


An unnamed man in Mary Esther, Florida, stopped by his 63-year-old mom’s house to check on her welfare, only to find her to be under the influence of a harmful chemical. The man called for help and a deputy arrived to find mom in the kitchen with 20 cans of air duster on the counter nearby. While the deputy spoke to the woman, she picked up one of the cans and inhaled it in front of her. After she was read her rights, the woman told the deputy she was inhaling it to “get high.”