Extra Dumbasses for the Weekend

The van was rockin,’ but Mankato, Minnesota, police officer Steve Hoppe bothered knockin’ anyway last Saturday night. Inside the van, parked in front of Walmart, the officer found Frank and Shantell Nei with their pants down while he orally serviced his wife. Officer Hoppe knocked on the van’s window and yelled for them to stop and noted they both really seemed out of it. The groggy and lethargic Shantell was cited for driving while impaired and Frank was charged for indecent exposure and violating a court order barring him from having any contact with his wife. Frank later told police that his wife drove to Walmart because he’d been drinking and that she wanted to give him “head” while he was in the passenger seat.

 

Washington teenager Jordan Holgerson was having second thoughts about jumping off a 60-foot bridge near Moulton Falls into the river below. However, a friend helped Jordan make the decision by pushing her off the bridge. That person is likely a former friend as Jordan suffered five broken ribs and numerous other injuries as a result of the push, which was captured on video. (See clip here)

 

An unnamed man in India is recovering after breaking his pelvis when he plummeted 50 feet down waterfall last Saturday. Another visitor to the waterfall captured the fall on video, which is lucky for the man as it’s not likely his phone survived the fall, which happened while he was trying to take a selfie. (See here)

 

Cleveland.com claims a hit-and-run driver from North Platte, Nebraska recently held a frog hostage during a standoff with police. The man crashed his car before a friend picked him up. He then called 911 to report the accident before officers stopped his getaway car. The man picked up a frog and held it hostage as he threatened a deputy. The deputy tased the man before taking him to a hospital to be evaluated.

 

Metro UK claims the Fujian, China police recently arrested a man for stealing five crabs from a local restaurant. The 58 year-old entered the restaurant before reaching into a tank and removing the live crabs. He placed them in a plastic bag before stuffing them down the front of his pants. Officers were able to identify the man from surveillance video. They went to his home where he told them he stole the crabs because they looked pretty and because he wanted them as pets. The man was charged with theft

 

The NY Post claims a 60 year-old New York man is suing landlord Robert Olmo because he was struck by a falling air conditioner. Lorenzo Sidbury was sitting on a park bench when the air conditioner fell out of a window and hit his back. He needed surgery afterwards.

The incident is similar to a Seinfeld episode where Kramer installs a new air conditioner without securing it. Someone slammed his door before the unit fell out of his apartment window.”

 

Derbyshire Live claims an 11 year-old Derbyshire, England boy recently called the police on his father because his father refused to buy him a Segway scooter. Dispatchers scolded the tween and told him his call was not an emergency. He did not get his Segway.

 

Cleveland.com claims a Strongsville, Ohio police officer recently stopped a driver for going 125 mph. The driver told the officer that they were in town for a Beyonce concert and wanted to get to their hotel so they could sleep before the show. The drriver was cited for speeding and not staying in their lane.