Extra Dumbasses

With the holiday shopping season underway, many people will go online to Amazon. At least one person who did so typed in the words ‘gifts for dad.’ When they did, the items that popped up included a porn DVD called “Dad is F***ing My Girlfriend.” When the gift was brought to Amazon’s attention it was pulled off the site, which is probably just as well since dad can likely watch plenty of porn for free.

 

One thing Florida’s Rebecca Lynn Phelps couldn’t be thankful for on Thanksgiving was a satisfying sex life. On Thursday night, Rebecca slinked into the bedroom where her baby daddy was sleeping and playfully grabbed his junk as she requested they have sex. Unfortunately, her boo said ‘no’ and went back to sleep. Rebecca began tapping her boyfriend’s leg as he pretended to sleep until she became upset and allegedly hit her man, causing his left eye to swell and turn black and blue. Rebecca was arrested for domestic battery and it was noted that she was drunk at the time and that this was the second time in 14 months that she was busted for allegedly battering a man who did not want to have sex with her.

 

An unnamed person recently stopped into the Verizon store in Hillsborough, North Carolina to pick up a few things. Unfortunately, they left something behind. That something was the SUV they used to drive through the front of the store before grabbing a bunch of merchandise and running off.

 

An unnamed Bank of America customer in Houston scored over the weekend after using an ATM that was spitting out $100 bills instead of tens. The customer shared the news on social media and soon the bank’s parking lot was filled with eager customers. Unfortunately, it also led to fights breaking out as people tried to use the machine. After two hours, police finally moved in to break things up and the bank blamed it on a vendor that incorrectly loaded $100 bills in place of $10 bills. On the bright side, the bank said customers could keep the money.

 

A Blue Grass, Iowa police officer attempted to pull over a stolen minivan on Sunday morning. However, instead of pulling over, the driver hit the gas and the chase was on. Speeds topped 100 mph until police used spike strips to puncture the tires and got the minivan to stop. Three police cars were damaged during the pursuit and they arrested the 13-year-old girl who was driving, as well as the other five teenagers in the van.

 

Metro UK claims an unidentified pilot is under investigation for falling asleep in a cockpit and then missing a runway in Tasmania, Australia by 9 miles. The pilot turned the plane around and landed safely after waking up. He was flying a twin engine Piper airplane at the time he fell asleep