Extra Dumbasses!

A Valley, Alabama convenience store was held up on Sunday by a man armed with hot sauce. When the clerk opened the register to give the man change for his purchase, he splashed the hot sauce in her face, grabbed the cash and ran. Police arrived to find the clerk in pain with red liquid on her face and in her eyes and later arrested Michael Brisky in connection with the robbery. You might say Brisky was caught red-handed.


Travelers may want to note that Air India apparently serves fine wine. An unnamed woman on an Air India flight from Mumbai to London on Saturday was enjoying copious amounts of their wine before going to the lavatory for a smoke. Somehow managing not to set off the smoke alarm, she returned to her seat for more wine. Eventually, flight attendants were forced to cut her off and the woman went on an expletive-ridden rant, claiming to be an international criminal lawyer and threatening the staff with legal action. The woman then berated the crew and fellow passengers before the rant turned physical, leaving one flight attendant with a bruised arm. The woman added that she wouldn’t be arrested when they landed. However the so-called international lawyer’s knowledge of the law was proven to be questionable as she was promptly arrested upon arrival.


What made Milwaukee famous got an unnamed woman arrested on DUI charges early Tuesday morning. During the arrest, a 10-month-old baby was taken out of the vehicle and sent to where she could be cared for. Unfortunately, mom failed to mention her 4-year-old daughter, who was still in the van. Even more unfortunate was the fact that the police, the tow truck driver and those at the impound yard all failed to notice the girl until about eight hours later. The girl was finally found very upset and crying and was checked for exposure after the overnight temperature had dropped to 18 degrees.


Like good parents, Randall Allen Crockett and Brittany Eggert placed their young son in a child car seat. Unlike good parents, Randall and Brittany left their son in his car seat on the side of a road in their Florida mobile home park on Sunday. Police arrived to find the boy sweaty, but in otherwise good health, while the parents had no explanation for why they left their son outside for 45 minutes. Randall and Brittany were placed in the car seat of a police cruiser as they were taken to jail on charges of felony neglect.


The Paris, France police recently cited a 33 year-old man for taking selfies with a 2 month-old lion cub while driving a green Lamborghini. Cops spotted the man on the highway before stopping him. He works for a company that rents exotic luxury cars. The Lamborghini was returned to the rental company while the cub was taken to an animal rescue.


NBC claims Milton, West Virginia residents recently called the police about several rabid raccoons. The raccoons were staggering around and acting weird before residents called for help. Police caught the raccoons and determined that they were drunk on crabapples. The beasts were allowed to sober up before being released into the wild


The Daily Mirror claims doctors in India recently removed 3.3 pounds of foreign objects from a woman’s stomach. Nails, nuts, bolts, safety pins and jewelry were all removed after the woman went to the hospital complaining of stomach pain. X-rays revealed how much metal she had eaten. The woman suffers from a rare disorder that causes her to eat sharp metallic objects. She is expected to make a full recovery