Extra Dumbasses

The military display during the Veterans Day parade in Norman, Oklahoma blew people away. Unfortunately, that last sentence is a literal interpretation of events as the celebrations included the landing of an Army National Guard Chinook helicopter. Unfortunately, officials failed to clear the area prior to landing and the wake from the chopper’s blades knocked people several feet off the ground, sending one person to the hospital.

 

California’s Simi Valley Ford is under fire, so to speak, for their latest advertisement. Seeking to cash in on the California wildfires, the car dealership posted an ad which said: ‘We didn’t catch fire but these deals are smoking hot.’ The ad didn’t seem to inspire people to rush to the dealership to buy a new car, but they did rush to criticize them, calling the advertisement ‘tone def.’ The dealership attempted to apologize by posting another message saying the ad ‘appeared to be insensitive to some.’ When that non-apology didn’t work, they apologized again saying the ad does not reflect its values.

 

New York Jets fan Christopher Greyshock was driving home from MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey after Sunday’s game against the Bills. Unfortunately, the biggest hit Greyshock saw was when he rear-ended another vehicle, injuring two people. Police arrived to find Greyshock “staggering and swaying” after the crash and officers found three-quarters of a bottle of bourbon and marijuana in his vehicle. Greyshock blew a .13 on the breathalyzer and told police that he drinks because the Jets “suck.” Unfortunately, that didn’t prevent Greyshock from being arrested.

 

Javier Tellez Jr. attempted to burglarize a home in El Paso, Texas last Tuesday night. However, the homeowner called police after he returned to find a broken window and blood splattered around his home. Officers were easily able to follow the trail of blood to find Tellez still inside the home. However, Tellez likely won’t be prosecuted for the crime as by the time police found him he had bled to death.

 

Torrence Edward Laprath was arrested early Sunday after trying to enter a Dayton, Ohio home that didn’t belong to him. However, it wasn’t a burglary attempt, but a case of mistaken identity as the allegedly inebriated Laprath mistook the home for his own. Unfortunately, Laprath’s co-workers weren’t so understanding as the Dayton Police Department has placed the 11-year veteran on unpaid administrative leave.

 

It wasn’t a yabba-dabba-doo time for Fred Flintstone when he was cited for speeding last week in Wesley Chapel, Florida. Actually, it wasn’t the real Fred, but Don Swartz, who for some reason was dressed as Fred, and even modified his Smart car to look like Fred’s ride even though it wasn’t Halloween. Pasco County Sheriff’s Deputy H. Echevarria posted the encounter on Facebook and every one had a gay old time. (See here)