Even More Extra Dumbasses

Margarita Hall was traveling west on Pembroke Road in Hallandale Beach, Florida, on Wednesday morning when she turned south on what she thought was the Dixie Highway. While rails and crossties would’ve clued most people in to the fact that it was not the Dixie Highway, but railroad tracks, the 65-year-old Margarita was not most people. Margarita said she finally got a clue something was amiss when she felt the car drop and it started to ride very rough. Margarita’s car became stuck, so she called 9-1-1 for instructions and informed the operator a train was coming. Luckily, the operator advised Margarita to vacate the vehicle and she did so before the train struck her car, pushed it 500 feet down the tracks, and reduced it to scrap metal.

 

Virginia’s Krystal Milne undertook what’s described as a ‘crafty’ attempt to smuggle drugs to her boyfriend inside of the Hampton City Jail. In a jailhouse phone call between Krystal and her inmate boyfriend, Robert Davis, she told him to expect several letters featuring glitter glue and crayons and that he should pay special attention to the middle cloud in the picture. Apparently unbeknownst to either of them, jail officials monitor those calls and now Krystal will have to find someone to smuggle drugs to her in jail.

 

Last Saturday, Victor Sosa was driving his friends around San Francisco after closing time, trying to find a place to purchase additional adult beverages. At some point during their journey, backseat passenger Jose Beltran removed a loaded gun from his waistband because it had become uncomfortable. Jose then began waving the gun to the tune of the music playing in the car, prompting a female passenger to request that he put the gun away. Apparently Jose didn’t take requests as the gun went off, with the bullet striking Victor. The woman took control of the car and stopped it as Jose apologized and fled the scene. Jose turned himself in the next day and is facing firearm and involuntary manslaughter charges.

 

Dena Knapp went to the Surgical Institute of South Dakota in October of 2016 to have an adrenal gland and an associated mass removed. However, Dr. Scott Baker instead removed Dena’s perfectly healthy right kidney. Dena has since developed stage-three kidney disease and is suing the institute. While Dr. Baker admits to mistakenly removing the kidney, he and the hospital say they didn’t breach the standard of care by removing the kidney, failing to remove the adrenal gland and failing to admit the mistake. They also deny that Dena suffered damages.

 

Nordstrom is selling a $530 pair of shoes on their website. While that doesn’t seem all that outrageous by Nordstrom standards, the Golden Goose sneakers look more like an old sneaker you’d leave behind at a Payless Shoe Source than buy new at a luxury department store. The Golden Goose sneakers are also known as the “Superstar Taped Sneaker,” and have what’s described as “Crumply, hold-it-all-together tape” and “a grungy rubber cup sole.” In other words, the shoes look like they’re dirty and falling apart. (See here)

 

An unnamed man paid a visit to California’s Fresno Chaffee Zoo on Wednesday. Unfortunately, he did so after closing hours. To make matters worse, our friend decided a visit inside the lion enclosure would be fun, although he likely changed his mind when a lioness grabbed him. Luckily, the man escaped with just minor injuries to his left foot and his actions were later explained by the drug paraphernalia police found on him during his arrest.

 

Metro UK claims a man in Essex, England has been spotted driving around town in a battery operated bumper car. The man appears to follow all the rules of the road and uses his arms as turn signals.

 

Cleveland.com claims a Bainbridge Township, Ohio resident recently called the police because her drunk neighbor was talking to a tree. Officers responded to the call and found the woman deep in conversation while holding a bag full of empty beer bottles. Cops turned the woman over to her boyfriend and told him to keep her indoors for the rest of the night.

 

The Sun claims Londoner Darlene Mullen stole a $35 jacket from a UK department store while on her way to court to be sentenced for a previous shoplifting theft. When she arrived at court, she had security guards put the coat’s price tags in the trash. Cops arrested Darlene as she was leaving the courthouse. She was immediately taken into custody.