Dumbasses Forever

A federal grand jury has indicted West Virginia Supreme Court Justice Allen H. Loughry on several charges after he allegedly used a court vehicle for his personal use and a government credit card to buy gasoline. Loughry also allegedly took home a historic desk belonging to the Supreme Court and is accused of lying when questioned about it. Loughry is also accused of witness tampering for trying to get a court employee to lie about the costs of renovating his office. This may necessitate Loughry to add another chapter to his 2006 book “Don’t Buy Another Vote, I Won’t Pay for a Landslide: The Sordid And Continuing History of Political Corruption in West Virginia.”


The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City is set to re-open next week after a $500 million renovation. While it sounds like a lot of money, the hotel did skimp when it came to spell-checking. They put their 30-foot-tall Gibson Les Paul guitar replica in place yesterday morning, only to discover the labeling on the rhythm and treble switch was misspelled as “R-H-Y-T-H-E-M”. On the bright side, the guitar is far enough off the ground that most people are unlikely to notice.


WCMH claims the Columbus, Ohio police had no problem in tracking down bank robber Dave Menser because he gave his driver’s license to a teller. Menser said he had a gun before giving the teller a note demanding money. When he asked for more cash, the teller told him that a driver’s license was required to open the cash drawer. Menser gave the teller his license before she swiped it into an ID machine. Officers quickly arrested Menser following the robbery.


The Westerly Sun claims the Westerly, Rhode Island police recently arrested a 28 year-old man for calling 911 from the back of a police car to complain about an officer. Cops were called to a home to break up an argument between a man and a woman. The man was drunk so cops told him to find a ride home. When he couldn’t, officers drove the man to the police station. During the ride, the man called 911 to complain about an officer. He was charged with making a false 911 call.


The NY Post claims Brandon Tidwell was arrested earlier this week after he stripped naked and began singing in downtown Aspen, Colorado. Brandon was crooning gospel songs when cops took him into custody. When they asked why he was naked, Brandon said because he felt comfortable in his own skin.