Dumbasses for Tuesday, April 2nd

Tulsa police were conducting a traffic stop when they noticed Amy Dillon driving their way. It was hard for officers not to notice Amy as they could hear her coming from a block away after she’d wrecked her car and was driving on a rim. When officers asked Amy how much she had to drink, she replied that she’d had two tequila shots. Apparently, Amy has a low tolerance for alcohol as officers say she could barely stand upright and failed a field sobriety test. It was also noted that Amy had a full margarita inside her cup holder and her breathalyzer test registered a .21 and “climbing.” Amy was arrested on numerous charges, including DUI second offense.


On Sunday, police in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma noticed Ashley Cox sitting at a traffic light for an abnormal amount of time. When Ashley finally pulled away, she also drove abnormal as she veered to the left before making an abrupt correction to avoid the center median. When officers pulled Ashley over, she admitted that her license was suspended. However, that would soon be the least of Ashley’s worries as police found heroin in her pocket, meth and pills in her purse, marijuana in her wallet and syringes on the floor. When asked why she had marijuana in her wallet, Ashley said, “I don’t smoke it. I sell it.” Sadly for Ashley, that excuse didn’t stop police from arresting her


Police in South Sacramento are looking for a burglary suspect. The good news for police is that they should have no trouble catching the man as he’s wanted for stealing at least one Ring doorbell. Perhaps unbeknownst to the burglar, the Ring doorbells have built-in cameras that captured images of him committing the crime, which have since been played on local TV newscasts. (See here)


Bradley A. Bower and his wife had just finished shopping at the Giant Food Store in Fairview Township, Pennsylvania and were on their way out the door when he asked a cashier, “Do you have a problem with me? Because I have a problem with you.” Bower then attacked the cashier, placing his hand around his neck before other employees stepped in and separated them. Bower is now facing an assault charge and if you’re wondering what his problem was; the cashier placed canned goods in the same grocery bag with his chips, causing them to get smashed.