Dumbasses for Thursday, January 31st

Pittsburgh’s KDKA-TV aired a report on the Super Bowl on Monday and newsroom employee Michael Telek thought his fellow Steelers fans that were watching would get a chuckle if he put a caption under a graphic of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady that read: “Known Cheater.” While Steelers fans might’ve thought it was funny, Telek’s bosses begged to differ and fired him.


Jones County Sheriff’s Deputy Daniel Pridgen went to a Richlands, North Carolina Bojangles and ordered roasted chicken bites at the drive-thru window. The deputy was asked to pull forward and wait while they prepared his order, but after 15 minutes he walked inside to find out what was taking so long. Pridgen said the person at the counter was apologetic and offered him complimentary Bo-Berry biscuits for his long wait. However, when the deputy got home he noticed an employee had personalized his biscuits by writing the letters ‘F.U.’ in icing on them. Those same letters may have been included on the pink slip the now ex-employee received from Bojangles.


Myrtle Beach, South Carolina police happened upon an SUV parked on the side of the road on Sunday morning. As an officer approached the vehicle, a “slightly undressed” Megan Elizabeth Gillogly crawled into the front seat and told the cop she wasn’t doing anything wrong, just having sex. However, Megan neglected to mention the cocaine that was in the vehicle and both she and her companion, Cooper Roberts, were arrested. The awkward situation was further explained by the additional charges of public intoxication levied against Megan.


Police in Fall River, Massachusetts are looking for a woman that made a very unsuccessful attempt to rob a bank. The woman walked into the bank on Monday afternoon and approached a teller. After hesitating, the woman told the teller to give her a minute and then went to a counter and wrote on a piece of paper. The woman then ripped up what turned out to be a holdup note reading, “Give me the money” and dropped the pieces in the trash and walked out.