Dumbasses for Monday, February 4th

During last week’s polar vortex, tossing boiling water into the freezing air to create a miniature snow shower became a thing. It also became a thing for the emergency department at St. Paul, Minnesota’s Regions Hospital to admit people with injuries from doing just that. The hospital says it treated two people who tried, and apparently failed, with the experiment. (See here)

 

Randolph, New Jersey’s Alexander Goldinsky filed an insurance claim last year claiming he’d injured himself after slipping on ice cubes and falling in the cafeteria at a business. Unfortunately for Goldinsky, he was unaware that the business had surveillance cameras in their cafeteria. Those cameras captured Goldinsky as he threw the ice cubes on the floor and then laid down to make it look like he fell. Instead of collecting big bucks, Goldinsky has been charged with insurance fraud and theft by deception. (See here)

 

Last week, Fairfield, Connecticut police arrested Amal Julian on DUI charges after she was found asleep in the driver’s seat of a vehicle on the side of a road. Police say Amal displayed signs of significant intoxication and was uncooperative. However, Amal’s troubles didn’t end there as she posted $100 bail with a counterfeit bill, and now faces an additional charge of forgery.

 

Woodlawn, Pennsylvania Fire Chief James R. Kutz has been charged with simple assault and harassment after pulling a gun on an intruder and following the person to another home where he ordered him to the ground. Police say the intruder in question was a 12-year-old Boy Scout who had placed a flyer for a food drive on the door of Kutz’s home.

 

Australian motorist Thomas Harris became upset when he came upon two bicyclists riding side by side on the road and slowing his progress. Not only did Harris tell the riders off in unprintable verbiage, when the riders moved over to a mixed-use pathway adjacent to the roadway, he then illegally drove his vehicle onto the path. Harris did all this while filming himself and later posted the video to Instagram. The bicyclists turned out to be off duty police officers and the video turned out to be evidence as Harris faces charges of using a phone while driving, offensive language, and driving on the bike path. (See here-language)

 

Just before Christmas, Leslie McDonagh was arrested after becoming upset and challenging the staff at a Manchester, England McDonald’s to a fist fight. McDonagh also spit in the face of a responding police officer and was later said to be ‘utterly embarrassed’ to end up in court, where it was learned the incident took place after he’d had six cans of lager. McDonagh was fined and ordered to do 120 hours of community service and, if you’re wondering what made him so upset, it was because they served his Big Mac with onions.

 

Despite being on probation for burglary, fraud, and sale of dangerous drugs, 28-year-old Joshua Louis Hillyard somehow managed to land a job as a mentor in an outreach program. Unfortunately, Hillyard is in even more trouble after reaching out to an unnamed 16-year-old girl in the program with unsolicited photos in which he was seen in a state of undress. Police were able to positively identify Hillyard thanks to the distinctive tattoo of the words ‘Fun Size’ on his genitalia.

 

Australia’s Adrian Moore met more than 90 women through online dating sites such as Tinder and Plenty of Fish. Since you can’t be too careful nowadays, Moore found out as much as he could about these women. Unfortunately, Moore was a 28-year police veteran and looked into the women’s backgrounds by accessing the department’s data base. If in the future some woman wants to check on Moore’s past she’ll find that he pleaded guilty to 180 charges of using a secure police database to access the information of those women and served six months in jail for doing so.

 

British porn actor George Mason was seen on film having a threesome. While that’s not unusual, the threesome involved his ex-partner, Nicholas Mullan, and a third, unknown man. While that’s still not too unusual, the threesome took place in front of passengers on the London Underground. The video was posted on Twitter with the caption “100% genuine footage.” Mason was eventually caught, likely with his pants down, and has pleaded guilty to outraging public decency and was find about $1,400.

 

 The Daily Mirror claims a man from Sydney, Australia recently called the police on his wife after she refused to split the bill at a Chinese restaurant. Cops quickly arrived at the restaurant where they told the couple that their emergency line is for actual emergencies and not domestic disputes. The couple was not charged

 

Kashmir Today claims a woman from Kuwait recently divorced her husband just minutes after marrying him in a courthouse. The couple exchanged vows and were walking out of the courthouse when the bride tripped. Her husband called her dumb for losing her balance before she walked back inside and demanded a divorce.The split was granted making it the quickest marriage and divorce in Kuwait’s history

 

The Smoking Gun claims the Sandy Township, Pennsylvania police recently arrested Mitchell Pisarcik for attempting to break into a home. He pounded and kicked the front door before telling homeowners that zombies and snakes were chasing him and biting his ankles. The homeowners armed themselves with claw hammers and frying pans. Police quickly arrived and charged Mitchell with criminal trespass, disorderly conduct and criminal mischief. He may have been under the influence

 

The Fairfield Patch claims the Fairfield, Connecticut police are looking for a man, who recently robbed a Dunkin Donuts with his child.The unidentified thief walked into the store before flashing a gun and stealing an undisclosed amount of cash. The child stood by the front door. Cops have released surveillance video of the man in hopes someone will recognize him.

 

Oddity Central claims Rafael Samuel, of New Delhi, India, is suing his parents for conceiving him without his consent. The website quotes him as saying; “I want to tell all Indian kids that they don’t owe their parents anything. I love my parents, and we have a great relationship, but they had me for their joy and their pleasure. My life has been amazing, but I don’t see why I should put another life through the rigamarole of school and finding a career, especially when they didn’t ask to exist.”