Dumbasses for Friday, March 22

An unnamed woman was driving through Franconia, Virginia on Tuesday evening when she saw Misty Freeman walking her dog. As the woman drove by, the dog was relieving itself and the driver stopped her vehicle and asked Misty if she was going to pick up after it. Misty ignored the driver, so she parked her car to discuss the matter. At that point, the two women started to record each other until Misty knocked the phone from the driver’s hands, hit her on the back and fled with the driver’s phone. Misty then called police to file a report and, when officers arrived, they found the driver’s phone in Misty’s home and she was charged with robbery.


Sheriff’s deputies conducted an active-shooter training drill at a Monticello, Indiana elementary school in January. As part of the drill, deputies called teachers into a room four at a time, told them to crouch down, and then shot them execution-style with plastic pellets, leaving them bruised, bloodied and screaming. Other teachers waiting outside heard the screams and were then brought into the room where they were also shot with the pellets and told not to share what happened with anyone. At least one teacher disregarded that order and the teachers’ union is calling for a ban on drills that include such shootings while the local sheriff’s department said they would no longer shoot teachers.


Authorities in Spotsylvania, Virginia recently carried out a search warrant at the home of Kenneth and Amy Sharp in connection with a child porn case. The good news for all is that the couple wasn’t charged and they’re no longer suspects in the investigation. However, Kenneth and Amy were still arrested. It seems that while executing the warrant, deputies discovered a grow operation in the home and the Sharps were both charged with manufacturing marijuana and child neglect.


When Fellsmere, Florida’s David Fredrick Ellis began burning a pile of leaves behind his house on February 28th, neighbors called police. Officers arrived to the smell of marijuana emanating from the pile, which Ellis said was “just some leaves.” However, the deputy noticed the remains of pot plants and when told he was burning marijuana Ellis said, “It’s trash, you don’t smoke that, I’ve got like a quarter pound of it inside.” Sure enough, police found marijuana and drug paraphernalia inside Ellis’ home. When Ellis asked whether they saw his marijuana, officers indicated they had, to which he replied, ‘I’ve got more in the refrigerator.’ After finding the cool cannabis, Ellis asked them, “Did you find all my pot?” It was at that point Ellis was finally placed under arrest.

Keith Johnson took part in the Florida man challenge. Unfortunately, Johnson took part by giving people one more incident to Google. Johnson was arrested after he allegedly shoved a woman when she wouldn’t let him in her house. Police say Johnson kept ringing the woman’s doorbell even after she told him she wasn’t letting him in and that the reason he wanted to enter was so that he could eat egg rolls that were inside.


Michael James McDaniel has been charged with four counts of felony theft by swindle. McDaniel is accused of ordering some $135,000 worth of computers and billing them to the University of Minnesota, where he worked as an analyst. McDaniel then allegedly sold the computers and deposited the cash in his bank account and used the money to travel. McDaniel’s story, and he’s apparently sticking to it, is that three men assaulted him and forced him to make the purchases.


An unidentified man in Pennsylvania was seen on surveillance video crashing his SUV through the front doors of a liquor distributor around 4 a.m. Wednesday. The man caused $15,000 in damage to the building before he was seen reaching inside and stealing two cans of Bud Ice worth $2.50 and leaving.