Dumbasses for Friday, April 19th

Gianny Sosa-Hernandez has chosen the wrong path to wrestling stardom. Last month, Gianny was arrested for attempting to perform the “R.K.O.” wrestling move on his principal at Miami Southridge Senior High School. Gianny was released without bond in connection with that incident, but is still perfecting his wrestling moves. Unfortunately, Gianny’s grappling aspirations have gotten him arrested again after he was caught wrestling a fake alligator at The Falls Shopping Center. The $3,690 plastic gator was damaged in the incident, which Gianny was nice enough to videotape for prosecutors. (See here)

 

Paul Konen was convicted in San Diego yesterday on assault charges. Prosecutors said that Konen attacked surfer Kevin Eslinger last June at Sunset Cliffs with a paddleboard and hit him so hard that he suffered brain damage and still has speech problems. Konen faces up to seven years in prison and if you’re wondering why he assaulted Eslinger, it seems the two were quarreling over who had the right to a wave.

 

Florida’s Matthew Joseph Erris hit the red and blue lights on his vehicle and pulled over a motorist this week. However, to Erris was human as he pulled over the motorist despite the fact that he isn’t actually a policeman. However, the person that Erris pulled over was a real undercover Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office detective. Deputies then turned the tables on Erris and after they pulled him over they found an airsoft pistol under his passenger seat and arrested him for impersonating a law enforcement officer. (See Sheriffs post here)

 

A Shenzen, China woman, identified only as Lily, recently got a fish bone stuck in her throat. However, instead of going to a doctor, Lily tried to remove the bone by scooping it out with a spoon. Unfortunately, Lily swallowed the spoon. Not wanting to miss the Qingming Festival, Lily waited four days before going to a hospital. Doctors were able to extract the spoon, but not before it had caused swelling and erosion in her duodenum.