An unnamed man was staying at a Madison, Wisconsin hotel on Thursday, when he discovered bed bugs in his room. Had he been staying at a Holiday Inn Express he’d have been smart enough to know that the best way to eliminate bed bugs would not be by burning them with a lit cigarette. Firefighters responded to the hotel blaze and put out the ensuing mattress fire while guests were temporarily evacuated.
Life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be for Fort Pierce, Florida’s Danielle Gargano. Earlier this month, Danielle crashed her car into a ditch and was arrested after she was found to be driving on a suspended license. Knowing that the last time Danielle was brought to jail she had three rocks of crack cocaine in her lady parts, she was asked if she had anything illegal on her person. Danielle said she did not, but as the paperwork for a body cavity search was being drawn up, she indicated she had “something” hidden away down there. Deputies say she extracted a half crack pipe with a whitish/yellowish rock located inside it. The rock tested positive for cocaine and her suspended driver’s license suddenly became the least of Danielle’s worries.
Long Island’s Valiery Portlock decided to play police officer last Friday when he drove up behind a van and activated the air horn and emergency lights on his Nissan Sentra. It’s not known who might believe that a real police officer would drive around with an air horn and lights on a Nissan Sentra, but it certainly wasn’t the detectives from the Nassau PD that were inside the van. When the detectives got out and identified themselves, Portlock swerved into oncoming traffic and sped away. However, Portlock was soon pulled over by the Nassau County Highway Patrol and arrested.
Waterbury, Connecticut’s 88-year-old Daniel Cashman went to his nephew’s place of employment on Monday with a gun and told employees that he planned on shooting him. Cashman began tapping the gun on his hip as he assured everyone that he was only planning to shoot his nephew in the leg and didn’t plan on killing him. Still, employees told Cashman that his nephew wasn’t there and he thanked them for their time and promised he’d return the next day. Cashman broke that promise as he was later arrested and if you’re wondering why he wanted to shoot his nephew, it’s because he claimed that he’d recently stolen some of his belongings and damaged his cuckoo clock.
Todd Beavers was jogging through Oakland Park, Florida last month when he spotted a discarded wheelbarrow and decided to help himself. However, another man also had his sights set on the wheelbarrow and the two exchanged words before Beavers jogged away with it. However, the other man ran after Beavers and produced a sword, which he began swinging at him. The men wrestled over the wheelbarrow as Beavers dodged the sword and the swashbuckler left empty-handed when informed a security camera was recording them. Beavers abandoned the wheelbarrow and a woman, who apparently knew the swordsman, dragged it away while hurling insults at Beavers. (See the action here)
The mother of Twitter user Ella Martine recently asked her to send photos of her new room. Ella obliged, but soon lived to regret it. It seems that the photo of Ella’s newly decorated room included two pairs of handcuffs hanging from her bedpost. Ella tried to lie her way out of it by saying her roommate was making a film for a class, but mom didn’t buy it. (See post here)
Police in Fairfield, Connecticut arrested six people last week after getting reports of “lewd and sexual activity” in the Grace Richardson Open Space area. The five men involved ranged in age from 62 to 82 and their one female guest was 85.
Anna Lee Halderman attempted to get an all-over tan on Westport, Connecticut’s Compo Beach by removing her top. Unfortunately, Compo isn’t clothing optional and when a mother and her young child complained, Anna responded by removing the bottom of her bikini as well. Anna was gone by the time police arrived, but when they eventually found her, she said she had no recollection of the incident. That may be because the woman that called police say Anna appeared to be drunk at the time. In any case, Anna was arrested for breach of peace and risk of injury to a minor.
An unidentified couple in Ibiza are facing fines after he was caught smoking a cigar while she was twerking. While that sort of thing normally isn’t a crime there, it is frowned upon when you twerk while naked on the back of a Ferrari being driven by a cigar-smoking man. A city council spokesperson said that authorities hope to track down the culprits soon, as ‘there are not many cars like this in Ibiza’. Local media said the couple could be fined up to $500 and the man could be given six penalty points on his driver’s license for reckless driving. (See here)
Deputies in Sebring, Florida arrested 74-year-old Gary Van Ryswyk last Sunday after he attempted to perform a castration inside his home. Van Ryswyk told a deputy he’d encountered major issues during the procedure and officers found the patient on a bed, bleeding heavily with a towel over his groin. The victim was flown to a nearby hospital and is said to be stable, although it’s not known if the two body parts found by deputies were reattached to the man. As if the moment couldn’t get any more WTF, Van Ryswyk told deputies he’d met the man on a website for people who have a castration fetish and told the patient he had experience on animals and had even removed one of his own testicles.