11 of the Strangest Tech that Makes Us Feel We’re Already Living Black Mirror

If you were thinking Netflix’s Black Mirror was just an uncanny parallel reality of a future date yet to come, think again.

Here is some of the latest in tech that makes it feel like we’re already living in The Cloud. And we’re not sure how to feel about it.

1. First, let’s get literal. This crazy mirror lets you play music, take pictures, and download apps (like the weather, etc.), plus lets you stream YouTube videos. Gone are the days of having to play music on your phone or computer while checking out your butt in that brand new pair of jeans. Will the mirror shame me if I wear the same sweater three days in a row?

2. Sure you’ve heard of VR headsets, but did you ever imagine VR shoes? These Taclim VR boots emulate the feeling of walking around different surfaces, and the ability to kick enemies in the games you’re playing. Bonus points for the fact that they actually look pretty Spring/Summer ‘18 fashion if you squint just a little.

3. And if shoes and headsets aren’t enough, check out this complete bodysuit that Tesla made to make sure no part of your body misses out on “feeling” the VR on screen.

But enough of the predictable. Let’s get weird.

4. Maybe you always kind of wanted an animal to pet but never really cared for them scratching or looking at you. Here’s where Qoobo comes in. This soft circular pillow has an attached tail that moves when you pet it, and sometimes when you stop petting it. The company claims it reduces anxiety and can even “heal your heart” by simulating catness. Honestly their commercial is kind of inspired, click through for the kind of weirdness that makes me long for the simpler days.

5. It’s been a while since I last watched Silence of the Lambs, but Hannibal Lecter’s mouth guard situation is definitely the first thing that came to mind when I saw Hushme. Marketed by its inventors as “the first voice mask for smartphones,” this “personal acoustic device” keeps your convos private when you’re in not-very-private places. Call me old-school but I think I’d rather air my dirty laundry to the streets than be caught dead wearing this face cage.

6. Exercising on a bike while trying to beat a game on the TV is quite reminiscent of a Black Mirror episode

but in 2018, it’s also been Fisher-Price-d, aka made kid-friendly. Do children *need* exercise bikes when they can just step outside and ride around with friends? Probably not, but here it is anyway. And they can raise their scores on the games the more they ride. All we’re missing is a world where their scores are their only economy… Sigh

7. Then there’s the food of the future, and it doesn’t all look terrible. I’m saying goodbye to the days of factory-made, store-bought tortillas, thanks to this company’s take on the Keurig pod model. Simply pop in a flour or corn pod, select your desired crispiness, and watch as the perfect tortilla pops out. There’s even pods for cookies and crepes.

8. Now back to the creepy stuff. Like this watch band that lets you make and take phonecalls by sticking your index finger into your ear. Thanks to SGNL, you’ll never lose another phone headset or earphone, as your literal fingertip can transmit the sounds from your phone WHILE blocking out extraneous sounds. The future was wild, kids.

9. Remember that episode of Black Mirror about dating? Where you meet a person and then you both press a button that tells you exactly how long your relationship will last?

 I’m here to tell you this is a real thing, in the event you were just wishing there was a system like this you could put your trust in. Click on the link at the same time as your partner and your expiration date will be revealed. Creepy as it is, I guess it could save you and your significant other some time.

10. Maybe you’re not dating anyone though, and maybe that’s because you can’t figure out which one of your Facebook crushes to ask out. Enter On The Rebound, the app that analyzes your friends’ past relationships to figure out when they have the best “rebound potential” aka when the best moment is to ask them out. Their advice is fairly gendered, with guys getting messages like “It’s been a while for her, go for it!,” while women get fed pointers like “He’s using you! Use him back!”

11. Then there’s the creepy parental controls reminiscent of Arkangel

that make me grateful I’m not a child and even more grateful I don’t have any of my own. Children safety is important, I get it, but then there’s apps that might go a bit far, like UKNOWKIDS which purports to helping parents monitor their children’s phone calls, text messages (yes, even the deleted ones), photos and web history. Oh, and you can also request your child “check in” at certain times, so you can pretty much stay on top of their geolocation whenever.

11. And last but not least, this pocket device that doesn’t need WiFi to translate what you’re saying as soon as the words come out of your mouth. So we can all finally visit Japan!

If you can’t wait for season 5, get your hands on these new gadgets to hold you over in the meantime.